"I was looking for the key for months
But the door was already open."
the last call.........
I never knew I would ultimately carashland so pathetically and prove myself such a complete failure.It is not that I am easily bogged down by failures.....but its about something else.Today I can only feel proud of being the bestest of the best loser,an ass who has lost himself,an idiot who can never make use of opportunities being offered and the most pathetic person who cannot manage things.I am just trying to recollect that when the engine failed and I was actually just flying a plane without fuel OR when it was that I missed the safety ejection.
Today I just stand at the crossroad ,where my life is completely messed up and has become so complicated that the very thought of solving it is so terrifying.Being cool is something different but being obnoxiously casual is catostrophic.Today I cannot manage my ownself,my friends,my parents and my life.I have screwed myself as badly as I could and projecting myself completely opposite as to what I am or what I could have done but I know giving explanations and justifications make no sense now.
I am afraid that I am not that thick skinned that I wouldnt learn anything out of it.I am afraid that I am not just making promoises in storms only to be forgotten in calms.I am afraid that I have not become a dog's tail that can never be straightened and would repeat everything again.
Now it is actually becoming frustratingly impossible to accept and swallow all my mistakes and learn the lessons in one push...I have failed as miserably as I could and devastated myself as badly as I could.EVERYTHING SUCKS !!But in the end like a true soldier you just take responsibilty of your actions and strive to put things back to order.
SERIOUSLY SERIOUS.
"badee hee vichitra hai zindagee,beedu.........."
Jinhe dhoondte hain sapno main
Woh haqeeqat main nahi hai
Jo haqeeqat main hai saamne
Woh hamare sapno main nahi hai
Jo Dil main hai hamare
Woh hamare qareeb nahi hai
Aur jo qareeb hai hamare
Woh hamare Dil main nahi hai
Jis se Pyaar karte hain hum
Woh hamare baare main sochta nahi hai
Jo sochte hain humaare baare main
Un se Pyaar hum karte nahi hain
Hum jinka intezaar karte hain
Woh kabhi aate nahi hain
Aur jo aa jaate hain saamne
Unka intezaar hum karte nahi hain
"MUKUL, I HATE YOU!"
MUKUL,
I HATE YOU......
YOU HAVE DITCHED ME...
I still can't forget the memories of the day
when to see me you were so happy and gay.
The day you accepted me with glee
the sparkle in your eyes I could see.
Promises of protection and undying love u made,
wish those lovely moments forever stayed.
That first day when you bared me,I recall
Working your fingers diligently on my torso small.
To be at your service,how happy I was
to be the object of your desire and cause.
The first night that I spent with you
was the best night of my life,u have no clue.
You admired my form, your lips so close to mine,
your speaking to me the language of Love divine.
I still remember that first accidental kiss
passion of someone madly in Love,I miss.
You held me close to your heart, I could feel
so many dirty secrets of yours I conceal.
I loved your company,I loved your attention
Wish those days continued forever,not to mention.
I know all days are not same and I am not perfect,
Even you are not perfect,no one is perfect.CORRECT?
Never thought you would do something as cheap as this-
For someone better than me,possibly disown me amiss.
I have seen you crying,seen you angry,seen you all
your companion happily always at your beck and call.
You used me like hell and left me exhausted and almost dead
Liquids of varying viscosities over me you shed.
You even slept on me and suffocated me,
without an ounce of concern,you used to flee.
You would stoop to such low levels,I never knew,
to let strange hands touch me and let others use me too.
Your insouciant attitude makes my tiny heart throb
in the spams of agony,disgust and anger I sob.
Everyone appreciates my figure,which I flaunt
the good memories we spent together ,always haunt.
I guess perfection you saw in me has been eroded by time,
better opportunities have forced you to commit this crime.
Oh dear!I still Love you from the bottom of my heart.
Please don't disown me like this.Lets make a new start.
I know someone else has taken my place
but my dear, I still retain my grace.
Believe me, that creature is a witch in disguise.
It will eat your happiness away.Please act wise!!
I know you are sweet and won't let my plea go in vain
My soulmate,please reconsider and think again.
Yours & always yours
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Sony ERICSSON W350i
P.S: Just in case ,u dont know. Mr.Kaura purchased the above mentioned mobile and is using Nokia 7710 these days. <:P
I don't know ,why I miss you still
My feelings for you are so difficult to kill.
The feelings I have for you would never go,
But the numbness gripping my soul is a terrible blow.
I know it makes no sense talking about it anymore
when things are no longer as they used to be before.
Atleast I am proud my love for you is so true,
the intensity of which you have no idea and clue.
How can you so mercilessly forget the past
wish those moments could forever last.
Why do you act,as if you don't care,
knowing very well,to hate you I can never dare.
It pains when cold glances at me are hurled,
you being unaware of my life being devastatingly twirled.
Are promises made only to be broken,
the grief of which is inexplicitly unspoken.
There is someone who loves you so very much,
It's not a lie ,you'll see as such.
I sometimes wonder if you still think of me
or if to you,I 'm just a face in the crowd sea.
Sadness and hatred for me is so difficult to cope,
But still I am hoping against the hope.......
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