"I was looking for the key for months
But the door was already open."
the last call.........
I never knew I would ultimately carashland so pathetically and prove myself such a complete failure.It is not that I am easily bogged down by failures.....but its about something else.Today I can only feel proud of being the bestest of the best loser,an ass who has lost himself,an idiot who can never make use of opportunities being offered and the most pathetic person who cannot manage things.I am just trying to recollect that when the engine failed and I was actually just flying a plane without fuel OR when it was that I missed the safety ejection.
Today I just stand at the crossroad ,where my life is completely messed up and has become so complicated that the very thought of solving it is so terrifying.Being cool is something different but being obnoxiously casual is catostrophic.Today I cannot manage my ownself,my friends,my parents and my life.I have screwed myself as badly as I could and projecting myself completely opposite as to what I am or what I could have done but I know giving explanations and justifications make no sense now.
I am afraid that I am not that thick skinned that I wouldnt learn anything out of it.I am afraid that I am not just making promoises in storms only to be forgotten in calms.I am afraid that I have not become a dog's tail that can never be straightened and would repeat everything again.
Now it is actually becoming frustratingly impossible to accept and swallow all my mistakes and learn the lessons in one push...I have failed as miserably as I could and devastated myself as badly as I could.EVERYTHING SUCKS !!But in the end like a true soldier you just take responsibilty of your actions and strive to put things back to order.
SERIOUSLY SERIOUS.
"badee hee vichitra hai zindagee,beedu.........."
Jinhe dhoondte hain sapno main
Woh haqeeqat main nahi hai
Jo haqeeqat main hai saamne
Woh hamare sapno main nahi hai
Jo Dil main hai hamare
Woh hamare qareeb nahi hai
Aur jo qareeb hai hamare
Woh hamare Dil main nahi hai
Jis se Pyaar karte hain hum
Woh hamare baare main sochta nahi hai
Jo sochte hain humaare baare main
Un se Pyaar hum karte nahi hain
Hum jinka intezaar karte hain
Woh kabhi aate nahi hain
Aur jo aa jaate hain saamne
Unka intezaar hum karte nahi hain
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