“CAPE OF GOOD DOPE”

SAASC recruitments recently held reminded me of my own SAASC recruitment last year. It was the most funniest interview I had ever been through(or rather I ever gave).I proved myself a complete dope and was very much sure after my interview that I am not making it to SAASC.It was a very fine and lovely evening. A cool wind was blowing. I was waiting in L12 for my interview turn along with my other friends. Finally, I got the call for my interview .I was guided by I- don’t- remember -who to L11 AND was asked to go to the second last bench. Now something happened that shouldn’t have happened. Just look at my casualness, I like a Yankee walked towards the second last bench. I saw two persons sitting there. Thinking that they might also be waiting for their interview sat beside them on the same bench. A second later I was regretting my act. The two persons started staring at me like hell which obviously made me feel uncomfortable. But I with my cowboy instincts acted as if nothing had happened. Just trying to break the ice, I asked them “When is your turn, bro?”And next second I was again lost coz’ these words of mine left those two persons zapped. This only made me feel “how come these two zombies are sitting over here”. Can you imagine a dope of highest order? NO YOU SURELY CAN’T.I PROVED IT THAT MOMENT. The two persons sitting over there were MAYANK RAINA and SUCHREET KAUR.Andthen Mayank Raina one of those two persons whom I had mistakenly assumed to be the interviewees very politely, confusingly but sternly said, “Sir, actually we both are supposed to be taking your interview. So you got to be on the other side of the bench. I hope u don’t mind. I mean if you still want to sit adjacent to me and give the interview we don’t mind.”Suchreet couldn’t help herself laughing loud and Mayank was on the verge of getting angry.What a stupendous start,I thought. Then Mayank said “Can u explain this dare-devil action of yours”. “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.” was the first thought that clicked my mind. And still I felt as if I was falling in a never –ending universe. Then I very calmly and controlling my laughter explained the situation that since no one guided me properly (DAMN that punk who guided me so properly to this confusing and embarrassing situation.) so I assumed that the interview panel is a way down and here I got to wait for my turn and hence sat beside you both, assuming that you are also waiting for your turn. Suchreet couldn’t stop laughing anymore, stood and left the room grinning. I could do nothing but laugh sheepishly. Instead of posing a question Mayank posed me an assignment and asked me to convince her and get her back. I very confidently went out of the room and said her something. And the very next moment she was entering the room and starts approaching towards us. With a lightning speed, I reached before her just to see Mayank surprised. The third question I got from him is that how did I manage it. And then feeling like a bond as if playing with my revolver, I very confidently and casually replied, “I just informed her that sir is calling you”. “Clever chap!” replied Mayank. Then I was shot a series of SAASC related questions. And in the end, I still remember Mayank thanking me cheerfully for a very hilarious session. Finally when the results were out I couldn’t stop giggling when I received an sms stating that I have been selected in SAASC.


PS-Not to mention, my dope acts didn’t stop here .Two days after the interview I was sitting in the library. Just then a girl comes and sits opposite me .Assuming her to be my fellow-first yearite, I enquired her, “Excuse me! Are you selected for SAASC?”AND a second later, for the second time in my life I realized that I have said something not meant to be said to someone. The girl till now engrossed in her book ,moves her head up,adjusts her spectacles, stares surprisingly at me as if I am a mental lunatic and replies “I am already in SAASC”.I didn’t get that and just said “OK”. “GOD! Why these days am I ending up making a fool out of myself.” I was asking myself. A day after I realized the gravity of my mistake. I had mistaken that girl in library to be KANIKA ANEJA,my coursemate,then a first yearite.But actually she was DIVYA SHARMA, then a third yearite.Those days I was unable to distinguish between these two girls. (jus imagine this!a meeky first-yearite asking the famous,mighty DIVYA SHARMA,"are you selected for SAASC?"...I cant stop laughing my balls off!..)IT WAS INDEED A SERIOUS (MISS) UNDERSTANDING!!!

(ANTI)SOCIAL STUDIES

Social studies is a combination of two parts of history, one parts of civics and one parts of economics, which prescribed and taken in large doses and allowed to ferment over the gentle fire of average human intelligence, derives the patient’s mind to distraction.
In a sort of trance, I now ponder detachedly upon the basic obtuseness of social studies.Personally, I regard social studies as a threat to sanity. What useful knowledge is gained by the study of this deplorable subject? Why do we have to endure torture in every social studies period to acquire the thoroughly profitless information that there are four Maratha wars, three Carnatic wars and four Mysore wars, not to mention an undefined number of Afghan, Sikh and Burma wars? I shudder at the futility and the puerilities of the entire proceedings.Until
lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunters.
In this state of mental coma, a friend of mine was once asked whether he had lost his head. My friend answered that he had lost his head in trying to remember how others like Charles 1 lost theirs. People in the same boat are the best sympathizers. So two of us put our heads together and cursed the inborn curiosity of man to probe into human affairs both past and present. ‘Let bygones be bygones’ should have been the motto of every historian. History may be defined as a chronological survey of the alleged pranks of our naughty ancestors. It has been included in social studies because society has a fine sense of rumor.
But where comes the connection with civics? History is a record of events which shows us how man has misinterpreted and misapplied the principles of civics in his own benefit. Take for example the much misunderstood right to hold and dispose of property. Whose property is meant, whether yours or yours neighbors’ is not clearly defined? Civics is that part of political science which tells us what citizens normally do not do.Oh civics! What crimes are committed in thy name, including the crime of using you as a time-killing weapon? One fails to see how subjects like history are going to help. It is just talking scandal. Poor Henry 7, he did not wish the whole world to know he had six wives-or was it eight? Anyway, if he could manage six he could manage eight. History rightly calls him a great king. If the normal man finds it hard to keep one wife, Henry was certainly six to eight times above the average.Incidentally, whatever it is that the history textbooks would have us believe. An excellent point about history is that you can mix it with plenty of fiction. No one dare oppose you. After all history is always in the making. “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”
To come back to the subject of wives. Akbar gets me beat, not that I would like to change places with him, no thanks. But, I mean, even polygamy has it limits.Twelve, twenty or even thirty wives one can understand if not excuse, but three hundred! – to say nothing about the three hundred mother-in-laws. The very thought is paralyzing.Oh well, we all have our hobbies. I expect. I dare say Akbar could afford it. His domestic policy was as extensive as his religious policy. Henry at least took the precaution of eliminating the existing one before he married the next. All this leads to historical hotchpotch.
I quite see the point that history should be read. But surely it need not be memorized and examined upon. “The advantage of studying economics is that if you want to sell cows you know that they will fetch a better price in Bombay than in Hissar.”How many of us have sold, are selling, or even sell cows?
Whenever I look into a mirror I always have an uneasy feeling, until Darwin makes things worse by putting forward his theory .Now Darwin has been dead for a century. I would not have known he existed, but for history. “The main difference for the history of the world if I had been shot rather than Kennedy is that Onassis probably wouldn't have married Mrs. Khrushchev.” Its only that I believe in,“Anybody can make history; only a great man can write it”.

MY CHEMISTRY EXAMINATION

It was the eve of my chemitry examination,

I was busy with my midnight preperation.

The night before my science exam,

was just like a frustrating time scam.

The morning was all the same,

with my head burning with strain.

I reached my school in horrified state,

everyone was busy cursing his/her fate.

The examination hall was cold and dead,

I was drenched by a cold sweat.

The long awaited question paper came to my seat,

Which I was only somewhat able to read.

I wrote with all my might,

but worse had to become my plight.

For a moment, I gave a glance to my neighbours sheet,

which only encouraged me to cheat.

I saw the words from my sheet flying upto the ceiling,

their devilish smiles felt like a merciless killing.

I pleaded them to come back to their place

but they showed no pity at my tearful face.

My cries were engulfed by their laughter,

I felt like a goat to be slaughtered.

Suddenly, I heard the bell ringing near my head.

and woke up to find myself torsing in the bed.
pheeeeeew!